Take Back the Night march

Tonight I celebrated my tenth year participating in an amazing event called Take Back the Night. This is always one of the most empowering moments. I think tonight was the best one ever. The Toronto Rape Crisis Centre and Multicultural Womyn Against Rape organize this event every year. It started off with a community fair of various organizations and people enjoying free food. Then we moved outside for a wide range of guest speakers including artists, poets, self defense demonstrations and more. I think the location made it all the more moving for me. This year the march was in Malvern (the community where I group up). We gathered at the ‘rec’ and marched past the mall and my high school dancing and chanting! As usual I really enjoyed myself and was very moved by the fact that is event has ALL kinds of womyn – old, young, all races, sexuality, deaf, in wheelchairs… people taking the bus two hours with their kids just to come and participate. All of these womyn were there to stand united in a message to end violence against womyn. Stories were told of mothers being beaten by their spouse, children being raped, womyn being beat to death because of their sexual preference. The unifying theme behind these stories was the systematic patriarchy exemplified by men in violence against womyn.
The saddest part about these stores is that they no longer shock me. This is the norm of our world. Womyn being murdered by their partners, slaughtered and raped in wars and the victims of the largest trade in the world. I will spare you the statistics but the facts are clear. The other day I watched a dateline episode where they were setting up people who were interested in having sex with young girls. The focus of the interview was the fact that they were ‘nabbing these pedophiles’ and that we should be aware of the possibilities of the internet. I think the angle they took was irresponsible – it sensationalized the issue and festered more ‘fear mongering’. I am not suggesting the coverage was irrelevant just that I would have preferred more in depth analysis outlining the systemic problem of violence against womyn.

The facts are endless and the complexities of the issue too deep for a blog. More important than outlining any crisis of humanity is to suggest how to deal with it. Discussing the issue is meant to elevate the ignorance. Gaining knowledge of the facts allows us to address the circumstances. Raising this issue is not to deter you from living your best life. It’s to encourage those of us with the strength to fight! We must fight by not letting the bleakness of the situation sway us from our goals. Womyn must not live in fear but instead educate themselves on the facts and learn how to defend ourselves. The biggest killer of us all is apathy and we must stand united demanding an end to the needless pain and death. This end must start with each of us. Don’t ignore that violence exists and don’t be ashamed if you are or have dealt with it. Mobilize together as a society to make change for the better. I know I will never allow myself to be a victim again. Every year at least once a year I will Take Back The Night!

Never been ordinary

Well today's blog is a much needed Kudos to me. I know. How boosie, what a big head I must have to just write about myself? You got that right. I have a big head. A well deserved can barely fit through doors kind of head. Hey, if I can't write about it in a blog where can I say it. Besides, this site is all about me. What a perfect name - It's all about me. Today I am giving myself a pat on the back because I deserve it. Shoot, if I don't - who will? Who else should? We are constantly looking to others for recognition of our own achievements. Who can really know how much sweat or hard work I put into something. Or how many personal challenges or obstacles I have over come to get where I am. My life has been a pile of cow dung. The kind of stuff you see in Jerry. The kind of childhood that that the CAS doesn't like to hear about. But I am not complaining. Each one of those challenges is a blessing like the next. If you don't know hard you can't enjoy easy and if you didn't have to struggle than you can't appreciate success. I am writing this today because ironically enough I had a pretty blah weekend. Just getting over a cold so all too much time to think and ponder over the 'what ifs' of life. On top of that I got a huge speeding on the way to work today - what a way to start the week?! Arghhh. But God - or energy (however you choose to look at it) has a funny way of sending messages. I know I didn't deserve a speeding ticket. I have no bad Karma due my way (well okay there was that time - no never mind I have made up for that with good behaviour lol). ahh hah that was worlds way of saying slow down womyn. Take the time to see who you are and what you have accomplished. Take the time to reflect and say thank you to yourself. Today when I came to work one of the side ventures that I work on was featured in The Toronto Sun - it was a nice feature for us. Reviewing this article while on line made me think about all of the other on line features that I was involved with. I barely remember all of the things that I have done. I used to have a very active political and activist life. It was refreshing to reflect on all of the good that I had contributed to in the past. I have been tired for a while and a bit off balance with dealing with some new adult hood issues - okay yeah relationships (pretty much) but I am working on keeping that focus and keeping my head on straight to get back on top of things. The point of all of this is to remember what you have done that is great and that we are all capable of greatness. Strive for it and obtain it. Today I write this to say thanks you to me for be an extraordinary person and you should too...

Comments on Urban Sista's blog - Federal tsunami aid hits $425-million ... as cash woes hurt African AIDS fight

Thank you for raising such an important social issue. Two dynamics bring us to this point. Racism and the power of 'a story'. A huge tidal wave wiping out nations of 'simple' people is a better cover page then the slow death of a 'backward' society that should have known better. I use the quotes to highlight the racist generalizations that white media has labeled the people of South Asia and Africa. My heart goes out to the people in South Asia - recognizing other issues is not to trivialize the experience they are facing. I am actually surprised they have gotten so much exposure. The power of the media at it's best. I am happy that the hype has helped people contribute. But I think it rarely comes from the heart. I guess the world felt a social burden to make up for all the racism towards the other facet of 'brown' people. If the U.S. puts millions towards helping South Asians then I guess we can't see them has monsters for trying to spend billions on annihilating another society (I mean looking for weapons of mass destruction - what a joke - today's news is stating that the U.S. government is admitting there are no weapons of mass destruction the weapons that are a threat now are the homemade items for warfare. Another oxymoron - of course the people made weapons you killed their family members. OK I need to grow write a blog on that two). My point is the media gets their story the white people feel better for 'doing something' for the inferior nations and Africa continues to live in the devastation that was put upon them. I have never seen a bigger tragedy that what has been done to that continent. If you don't know you better get a book. Thanks Urban Sista for sparking about one hundred blog topics for me. As long as some people keep asking the important questions maybe someday we will find the answers. I will now go visit www.msf.ca and follow your lead.

Comments on another blog...

Very interesting blog. I am new to this and it is nice to see someone get to serious issues by expressing personal issues. I am a white woman and in University my senior research examined how slavery and eugenics impacted relationships. It had caused deep rooted damage. This is not to say that it can't be overcome but the social constructions of our society and the institutions and attitudes continue to perpetuate and support negative situations for the 'black' family. As a strong woman one of my reco's is to see that you are dealing with the complexity of the added dimension of being in a time when we are changing the model of the family. The nuclear 'white' model of the family was socially constructed to oppress womyn. With financial and sexual independence womyn are stepping out of this mold. To go back to the holistic model of the family in this eurocentric society is an almost defeasted challenge. I am not suggesting it is impossible, only raising the added complexity that makes it near impossible. The important thing I think is to realize all that is going on and that some of these complexities are bigger than the individual. Although we may not have the answers the one answer that I have discovered is that we must focus on loving ones self. Having that strong foundation will enable us to deal with all of the other challenges in life. May you all be blessed to be smart enough to see what's going on and how much love is all around you.

Partying in Toronto

I felt the need to post a comment on someones blog on Warner parties. I typed so long I said wow I really should share this issue with others. Let me know what you think:

Thank you for the forum to comment on Warner jams. I personally can't stand them. I consider myself a very serious party girl but I have never enjoyed the vibe at these jams. Never mind that I am not paying that kind of money for a regular club. And yes I put Studio into this category and even Chocolate Lounge is similar. The last time I went to this so called 'up scale' club we got pepper sprayed. Can you imagine? And when I called the next day to ask what kind of poison they were responsible for having me ingest they told me they couldn't tell me but I need to understand that sometimes this happens at black parties but I could have a free dinner. Did they really think I would ever go back? And that's what happens? Nice perspective. It really saddens me because it's like we can't have a classy affair? And Warner jams - if they work for you that's great but I don't need to see 'bashy trashy' (yes me and my girls have some made up terms) and snobby haters sew some paper towel together and call it a dress. And all that hard work just to come and pose with a screw face?! No thanks, I go out to have fun. And speaking of made up words: the men at Warner jams (not all but some) fall into our definition of 'trickery' - that is to put on sunglasses and/or a hat and dress nice but look good from far but far from good. You with me? I don't go through this when trying to go somewhere nice in Boston, NYC or Florida. T. we have to pick it up. Don't worry there is hope. I went to the urban music awards about a month ago and afterwards I went to the Little X party. It was nice. Lot's of beautiful people - womyn hotter than me for sure and the vibe was nice. Actually classy, stylish and a good vibe. I will be going to Kardinals xmas party tomorrow night at Indian Motorcyle so I will let you know how it goes.

And here we are...

First of all I have to say thank you to my girl who encouraged me to check out this business of blogging. Check out her blog at urbansista. Like my girl I am using this forum to exhale once and a while and start putting out my ideas that I am working on. Some of these ideas will just stay in these pages but some of them with help me move forward wtih some great business initiatives and professional and personal growth. I am hoping that some of these pages may even inspire other people to be happy, motivated and enjoy the many blessings life has to offer. Anyway, that's my rant of the day - I hope you enjoy...